Rules and Truths of Fusion Fall
by BluBrotherD
Summary: A young sergeants list of truths he's discovered during his time in the war against Fuse. First page is a prologue. Skip it if you just want to get to the funny stuff. Disclaimer: Some of these rules were inspired and relate to the works of another Author. "lightning bird" Go look him up for some good reading.
1. Prologue: Pg 0

"Rules."

Rules are important. At least, that's what he'd been raised to believe.

As Earth Combined Forces Volunteer Soldier Sergeant. WinterKnight sat on the blue squared couch set in the center of the room known as the officers lounge. Nestled on the tenth floor of Dexlabs Headquarters in Downtown with the rising suns rays warming his bare face thru the windows of the East facing wall, he let his sleep deprived mind debate the importance of rules in life. Or more specifically, the source of which the topic pertaining the importance and function of rules in the lives of the soldiers in the ECF came from.

Alone in the silence of early day with his thoughts as his only companion Sgt. Winter, as was his given nickname, could only hear one phrase as it kept needlessly repeating itself in his mind. "Why wasn't this done sooner?" With pen like stylus in his right hand and touch screen digital pad in the left Sgt. Winter simply stared with blank dead eyes at the nearly empty digital display of his inbox messages. Save for one short, crisp, three phrased, no nonsense message in bold print scrolled wide across the top. "A rule book needs to be made. Get on that. Now."

A glance at the ID tag of whom the clipped words came from showed the sender as non other than the Supreme Director of the Earths Combined Forces herself. Mandy. That short blonde haired little girl with the permanent scowl on her face that could peel steel off a tank with but a glance, and who also happened to be his superior commanding officer, was the one who sent him the message. A dozen questions had popped up in the young soldiers head the moment he first read the simple order.

"Why me? Why now? Why a book? Are others involved? What kind of rules?" Ending with the one that had been ricocheting around in his brain for a good three minutes. "Why wasn't this done sooner?" One would have thought that someone as efficient as Mandy, who single handily runs this massive organization day in and day out without so much as blinking an eye on her stoney face. Would have had something as simple as a rule book thought out, proof read, finalized, printed, and handed out at the very beginning of her term as Director.

But as the Sergeant pondered on this his slowly waking mind began to comprehend an obvious head smacking fact. This was the ECF. No ordinary book of simple rules could ever be applied to this jumbled up band of children, teens, adults, heroes, villains, thieves, idiots, celebrities, animals, monsters, figments, and all around crazy people, and be expected to be recognized or obeyed. At least not without some serious thought put into it. Even the most basic of rules would have to be very specific and flexibly termed to cover everything that could possibly come up.

Which in hindsight seemed like a very hard thing to do. Especially if you didn't have much time for it at the moment. Or didn't have the slightest clue as to how many kinds of complex natures you were going to encounter among the myriad of people you were going to be working with. As was probably the case the Sergeant suspected, remembering how he, Mandy, and the entire ECF had been assembled and pressed into action at break neck speed. Back in the not so distant but significant past of five years ago when the dreaded enemy of everything, "Fuse" , began its siege on the galaxy.

To combat such a monumental threat to their existence the leaders of Earth had quickly united and approved the creation of the Earths Combined Forces. An the organization that, upon its hasty creation, had hit the ground running. Within a week the heads of operations were chosen and those who were the most experienced in the ways of battle were picked to lead the fight on the field. Within the month the battle lines had been drawn, bases of operations had been established, and the first batch of volunteers had been recruited, trained, equipped, and sent out into a war that spanned the stars.

Never in the history of the Earth had such a force been assembled so quickly and efficiently. An it was well and good that it had, as Fuse wasted no time enacting his own agenda. For no sooner had the people of earth finished the final preparations for the coming conflict, than the enemy began raining down upon them like a green shaded apocalypse. Fuse had quite literally thrown everything he had at the little blue planet from his mobile leviathan mass of emerald death. The Fusion Fall, as the event is now referred to in the history books, marked the beginning of the war for the survival of the human race.

Looking back at it all its no wonder that something as trivial as rules of etiquette would have been forgotten. In the brutal blur of time that was the first five years of the war the only thing most people would have focused on would've been survival. Not rules and order. Much less proper and restricting rules of order. That narrowed mindset was cast into the abyss of rejection the moment it became clear that spur of the moment adaptation would be humanities greatest weapon.

With the cause of the somewhat late issued orders his child superior had given him now making the timing of his current assignment understandable, Sgt. Winter began focusing his now fully awakened mind on the task at hand. But despite having quelled his initial doubts about his orders, one new question quickly began to plague him. How best to go about this?

Making a broad yet simple set of rules wouldn't be enough as they could easily be bent or misinterpreted. An anything too complex or thought out would most likely be seen as too restricting and thus be ignored or challenged. An how would he be able to do it all by himself? He could not. That was the simple answer.

Winter was a soldier, a grunt, not a figure of authority. Sergeant he may be, but that didn't mean much in the ECF. One could easily be up for such a promotion in rank simply by surviving their first real battle without doing anything too stupid or suicidal. The rank of Sergeant was even available as a code name for heavens sake! The fact that the top ranking superior in charge of the largest army in the history of the human race even considered someone as unimportant as him for such a responsibility boggled Winters' mind.

But despite his steady mounting doubts about his ability to complete his given task, Winters knew one thing that could and has halted any thoughts of despair.

Never question The Supreme Director. She knows what she's doing.

Mandy may be young but she is _the_ world genius when it comes to organizing people. She can read and figure any person out instantly from one meeting, and she never gave an order to anyone unless she was absolutely sure beyond any shadow of doubt that that person could handle the task she was giving them. It's why she was still in command of this motley crew despite the U.N.s efforts to dislodge her from her seat.

With that one universal truth settled in his mind Winter began to calm down. An as he continued to stare at the blank display of his Dexlabs standard issue data pad his train of thought began to wander onto the many other truths of the ECF he had acquainted himself with during his time among the people here. An suddenly, as if summoned by divine intervention, a light bulb as bright as the rising sun suddenly clicked in his head. With a quick swipe of his stylus holding hand the Sergeant opened up a word program on his pads display.

An began to write the first rule.


	2. Page: 1

**Official ECF Rules and Guidelines.**

**Written by Sergeant WinterKnight.**

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**Changes and updates will be made as they come and suggestions are welcome.**

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**Layout**

**#. Rule. **

**(Footnote _- _Signature)**

***Action***

_Faint noise_

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**0. Always listen to the Supreme Director. **

(She knows what she's doing.)

(Well said Sergeant. - Mandy.)

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**1. Always listen to your Guides and Commanders.**

(Mandy, Numbuh 362, Numbuh 1, Max, Ben, Jack, Juniper, Etc.)

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**2. Always listen to the genius'. **

(Dexter, Double D, I Am Weasel, Professor Utonium, Azmuth, Etc.)

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**3. Never listen to the greedy and/or stupid people. **

(Mandark, Eddy, Kaz, Bloo, Ed, Billy, Etc.)

(Except for the really rare occasions when they're actually right about something.)

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**4. During one of Mandy's or Dexter's rally speeches, don't start humming "Hail to the Chief". **

(That's just asking for a death wish.)

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**5. Always be suspicious of the self proclaimed Evil Villains. Eddy and Kaz included. **

(You bring it on yourselves dudes.)

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**6. Aim for the head, if your target has one.**

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**7. Don't yell "BOOM! Headshot!" when killing a Fusion double. **

(Especially if that Fusions counterpart is right next you.)

(It's very awkward.)

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**8. When you encounter a Fusion Double don't ask if he/she/it needs a hug. **

(Grim would have to get a mop and bucket.)

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**9. On Halloween, don't dress up as your Fusion Double. **

(Even if your dared to. Bloo.)

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**10. Always check the backseat. **

(If your ride has one.)

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**11. Double Tap. **

(If you use a gun. If not, give it an extra swing.)

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**12. Keep a nano with you at all times. **

(It'll save your life one day.)

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**13. Don't fan-girl/boy squee when you get the nano resembling your current crush. **

(The nano might not like you if you do.)

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**14. Remember to enjoy the little things. **

(Like smoothies and chili fries. - Ben.)

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**15. When a job is done, just walk away.**

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**16. Don't get personally involved in a mission.**

(It never ends well.)

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**17. Never date a team member.**

(Unless that team member is a bonafided badass.)

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**18. Bursting into song is not meant for the battlefield. **

(Unless the song is really good and your a great singer.)

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**19. When a friend is involved, forget the rules.**

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	3. Page: 2

**20. When revenge is involved, don't forget the rules.**

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**21. Don't be negative. **

(Especially around Numbuh 3, Numbuh 4 will kick your butt.)

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**22. Women and Children first.**

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**23. Don't hold back when fighting a Fusion double. **

(Even if the original is your friend.)

(It won't return the sentiment.)

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**24. Don't do high risk missions solo. **

(Bring friends along.)

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**25. Do not attempt to fix, adjust, modify, or tinker with your weapons inner mechanisms unless you're a certified technician or have one on sight.**

(Kevin made that mistake and it was Ben who paid the price.)

(we don't talk about it much.)

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**26. Don't haze Mandark by telling him "the 50's called and wants its fashion style back." **

(You'll hurt his feelings an then he'll get all prissy and start harassing us all with death rays whenever we walk by his house!)

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**27. No using the Nano Communication System (NanoCom) for crank calls. **

(Dexter can trace you.)

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**28. Don't joke around on the battlefield. **

(Save it for the infirmary or on the ride back to base.)

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**29. Don't be extremely annoying.**

(Your team might send you to the battlefield early.)

(Without backup.)

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**30. Don't duct tape your Nano's to yourself. **

(Their shield abilities don't work that way and they'll just get mad at you.)

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**31. Don't get Dexter, Dee Dee, Bloo, Mac, Numbuh 3, Ray Ray, Flapjack, Chowder, Bubbles, Ed, Johnny, or Billy hyped up on caffeine. **

(It's never pretty.)

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**32. Twinkies DO have an expiration date. **

(So don't pack your rations with nothing but Twinkies before going on a long term mission.)

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**33. Stealing from Cpt. Stickybeards candy treasure horde is a bad idea.**

(He pillaged the entire Cul-de-Sac trying to find the thieves.)

(Surprisingly it wasn't the Ed's.)

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**34. When you see monkey skyway agents in the air don't suddenly scream, "Fly my pretties! Fly!"**

(They don't like that.)

(An they'll spit at you. - Ben)

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**35. Don't slip drugs or sedatives into any of the smart peoples drinks. **

(Mandy will have you shipped to Antarctica.)

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**36. Always have a designated driver. **

(Especially with Ed, Eddy or Billy around.)

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**37. Always have at least three escape routes planned.**

(Especially when the Kankers are around. - Edd)

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**38. "His Trolliness", "The Sour Green Giant" and "The Big Bad Booger Man" are not appropriate nicknames for Fuse. **

(Even though the rest of us find them hilarious, Mandy is getting annoyed of reading those names on the mission reports.)

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**39. Don't be an idiot and sell your soul for something cheap. **

(Numbuh 4, Numbuh 2, I'm looking at you. - #1)

(But it was a yap #999 card! That's super duper extremely ultra hard to get! - #2)

(I don't care. No card is worth selling your soul to the Grim Reaper. - #1)

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**40. Don't repeatedly call Dexter or Numbuh 4 "Shorty" and/or "Shrimp". **

(The medics will have to scrape you off the floor.)

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	4. Page: 3

**41. Don't set Dexter's hair on fire.**

(He might return the favor.)

(How was I supposed to know the shampoo I gave for him to try was flammable?! -Ben)

(Make sure to read the back of the container next time Mr. Tennyson. - Dexter)

(Nice hat Ben :D)

(Shut up. - Ben)

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**42. Don't let Billy drive. Ever. **

(Kevin blew his stack after what Billy did to his car.)

(An it was scary.)

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**43. Don't make movie references when the people around you are mad. **

(Just don't. You'll live longer.)

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**44. Tomb Raider references are not for the battlefield or while in a Fusions lair. **

(Numbuh 5 hates that. - #5)

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**45. Don't be a pyromaniac. **

(Unless it's your job to be one.)

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**46. Don't be a maniac, period. **

(Unless your the Ice King. - Jake)

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**47. Don't screw over a teammate.**

(It's not nice.)

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**48. The hamster dance is definitely not an appropriate battle song and is not to be broadcast in a loop over the Com System. **

(Tom cracked his visor and shutdown from banging his head against the wall, and the rest of us had headaches for a week.)

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**49. Don't make Matrix references around Numbuh 1.**

(I'm not related to Neo nor am I "The One" so quit it! - #1)

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**50. Bubbles' is not a sailor scout. **

(Even if she does dress up as one from time to time.)

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**51. When your talking to a girl with an unnatural hair color, don't ask if the "carpets match the drapes". **

(Jamie and Bravo had to learn this rule the hard way.)

(They're still walking funny.)

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**52. Don't make any comments that "Vampires Suck".**

(Especially when in the presence of Dracula.)

(He gets all huffy.)

(Dracula don't suck! Dracula scrapes and licks! - Dracula)

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**53. Fusion Humongasaur is not an actual dinosaur, and his vision acuity is not based on movement. **

(Jurassic Park is not an accurate source of intel Numbuh 4.)

(Oh yeah? Then why is it a documentary? - #4)

(It's not. - #1)

(Wait, seriously? - #4)

(*Facepalm* - #1)

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**54. When being yelled at by Dexter or Mandy, don't suddenly scream "YAY! I'M DOOMED!" **

(You'll be kept in Solitary for a week and forced to do sanity tests if you survive.)

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**55. Buttercup is not a super saiyan.**

(Although that would be pretty sweet if she was.)

(Totally! - Buttercup)

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**56. No trying to stake Marceline.**

(She may be a vampire buts she's not evil.)

(Most of the time...)

(Sometimes...)

(Well she's better than Mandark.)

(I think.)

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**57. Running around like a crazy person yelling "I'M RUNNING! I'M RUNNING!" is not appropriate and well earn you a week in solitary. **

(Billy is exempt from this for obvious reasons.)

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**58. "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard" is not an appropriate song for you to sing when Dexter has been kidnapped by Fuse. **

(Even if you find it hilarious the rest of us won't. )

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**59. Don't make Lord of the Rings references when around those from the past or the mystic future.**

(Finn and Jake are still looking for the portal to Middle Earth.)

(While Jack and the Scotsman keep calling midgets dwarves.)

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**60. Don't crack adult jokes when in the presence of KND personnel. **

(Frankie and the other caretakers will pitch a fit.)

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	5. Page: 4

**61. Never eat Chowders cooking, ever. **

(Unless your Billy or Ed.)

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**62. Even if it's Mungs turn to cook, bring a hard hat.**

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**63. Don't scare Eduardo, ever. **

(You'll be the one to patch up all the walls he runs through.)

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**64. NEVER give Mac sugar or anything with sugar in it! **

(We all remember what happened that Halloween night, Bloo.)

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**65. Don't ever call or refer to Buttercup as being "cute as a button".**

(Only her dad can get away with that.)

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**66. No trying to fool or manipulate Bubbles.**

(Her sisters will respond most vehemently.)

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**67. Don't try to stump Dexter or any of the smart people with a brain teaser or an unanswerable question. **

(Many have tried and failed.)

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**68. Don't take any of Bravo's dating advice. **

(Unless you like getting slapped repeatedly.)

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**69. No trying to squish Jeff. **

(He may a giant spider but he's nice and has feelings too.)

(Even if he does creep us all the heck out!)

(I'm sorry if my appearance is discomforting to you. - Jeff)

(AAAGH!)

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**70. Don't make Supreme Director Mandy mad. **

(You'll never be heard from again.)

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**71. Don't send White Knight or Agent Six periodic messages asking if Rex can come out and play. **

(They won't find it funny and you'll be denied every time.)

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**72. Don't try to prison break Rex out of Providence. **

(You'll just be locked up yourself.)

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**73. Don't attempt to speak to Sgt. Lee in any Chinese dialect if your not fluent in it. **

(She'll break your jaw.)

(That was only that one time! An that punk deserved it! - June)

(June, you were in China and Rex thought you were a native and was just trying to ask you where the bathroom was.)

(That wasn't even remotely what he'd said. - June)

(Then what did he say?)

(You don't want to know. -June)

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**74. Don't ask the Scotsman any stereotypical questions in a mocking manner. **

(You will be tossed into the nearest waste bin.)

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**75. Don't mock, tease, or anger any of Mojos monkey minions. **

(They might string you up a tree or building and leave you there.)

(Right after they've pelted you with bananas.)

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**76. Do not attempt to eat your own weapon. It is a tool, not food. **

(We don't care if it is a giant turkey leg and your hungry, you don't eat the only thing between you and the fusions!)

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**77. Don't eat the gumballs meant for your nanos. **

(They'll get really mad at you, even after you get sick.)

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**78. Nano Potions are not energy drinks. Report to the Infirmary immediately if you ingest one.**

(Billy said they taste like Diet Pepsi.)

(Right before he puked up his stomach.)

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**79. Mr. Weasel is to be treated as a respected contributor to the war effort, not a pet. **

(Bubbles.)

(But he's soooo cuuuute! - Bubbles)

(Well he does seem to be enjoying the belly rubs.)

(I can assure you my good man that this is for the good of the war effort. - IamWeasel)

(Riiiiiight. 9_9)

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**80. Do not look up for too long when the PowerPuff Girls fly overhead. **

(Their father will get very mad at you for some reason.)

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	6. Page: 5

**81. Don't dress your Nanos up in cute little outfits. **

(They are weapons of war. Not dolls. An they might get mad at you.)

(Unless your just doing it to your Bubbles, Dee Dee, or Numbuh 3 Nanos.)

(Then your good.)

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**82. Do not bother Dexter when he is in his lab.**

(Bloo, Ed, Flapjack)

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**83. Do not startle Dexter when he is in his lab. **

(Billy, Ben, Dee Dee)

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**84. When Dexter is in his lab, just leave him alone, period. **

(Everyone)

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**85. Bloo, Cheese, Ed, Flapjack, I. R. Baboon, and Billy are NOT allowed to own, handle, or be near anything explosive, lethal, or otherwise dangerous! Alert Security immediately if you see one or all of them with such items! **

(An Run For Cover!)

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**86. Sexist behavior will not be tolerated in the ranks. You are encouraged to report any display of such behavior to a superior officer. **

(Really, its for your own safety.)

(Given the unrepeatable things this one recruit was saying about women, I really didn't feel sorry for him when I finally told him to turn around to find Juniper, Gwen, Frankie, the PPGs, and Mandy herself standing right behind him.)

(They dragged him off somewhere afterward.)

(I never saw that guy again.)

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**87. Paintball is forever banned from Downtown Headquarters. **

(I don't care how epic it was Bloo, Mandy has banned it an I'm not getting shot in the butt again!)

(Aww c'mooooooooooooooooooonnnnn! - Bloo)

(No.)

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**88. Dexter is always busy and doesn't do personal order requests. **

(Hey Dexter, can you build me butler robot that makes smoothies and fries and can fly? :) – Ben)

(Hey Dexter, can you build me a sparring dummy that fights back and can fly? :D – Buttercup)

(Hey Dexter, can you build me a giant stage that shoots fireworks, plays music, and can fly? :D – Dee Dee)

(Hey Dexter, can you build me a giant super duper awesomely tough obstacle course that has guns and saws and lasers and spikes and ropes and ladders and pits and snakes and bars and sand and nets... and can fly? - #4)

(Hey Dexter, can you- - Blossom)

(RRAAAAAAAAA $*! %^*($# #$(%^*% ^#$*^%^^ $ (%^ ($* ! - Dexter)

(Was that even english?)

(*Shrug* - Blossom)

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**89. Catapults are not an accepted means of fast travel. **

(Eddy, Bloo.)

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**90. Cheese (the imaginary friend, not the dairy product) is not to be used as bait or a viable decoy for fusion monsters. **

(No matter how annoying the little nutter gets.)

(I like chocalate milk! - Cheese)

(Cheese, go home already!)

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**91. Feeding an annoying teammate to a fusion monster is not acceptable behavior. **

(Bravo spent half an hour in a walking garbage heaps stomach before we got him out.)

(He smelt like Numbuh 4's dirty laundry for a month.)

(The girls on the scene still claim that the monster ambushed them out of nowhere.)

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**92. Cafeteria food is to be eaten. Not thrown. **

(The KND were really sore about this rule.)

(They say it severely limits the base defenses and surrounding fun aura fields or something.)

(But the complaining stopped shortly after Mandy and Numbah 362 walked into the cafeteria and ended up getting covered in Wednesdays lunch special.)

(It was vegetable soup with a side of coconut pudding.)

(Rule 92 is now painted on the broad cafeteria wall in big bold letters.)

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**93. Chowder and Billy are not allowed to be alone in the kitchen. Ever. **

(An no Chowder, not even for a few seconds.)

(Seeing as how you managed to eat the entire storage room stock in under one.)

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**94. No one is allowed in Dexters lab anymore without his permission. Any attempt to gain entry without it will result in your immediate imprisonment. **

(How Cheese and Dee Dee keep getting in without raising the alarms is beyond me.)

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**95. Any attempt to modify or "trick out" your rented vehicles inner machinery will result in you being banned from Levins Rental Service for a determined amount of time. **

(Kevin and Coop appreciate your enthusiasm but they're tired of having to keep modifying the vehicles back to regulation specs.)

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**96. Raw Fusion Matter is a dangerous toxic substance and is to be avoided. **

(Not used as play-doh.)

(An just because it doesn't seem to hurt Cheese doesn't mean it won't mutate you.)

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**97. Don't haze or frighten the younger new recruits. **

(The Imaginary Friends assigned to them might get angry.)

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**98. Mr. Herriman is not the Easter Bunny, nor is he related to him. **

(So quit asking him for candy eggs, Ray Ray, Flapjack.)

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**99. Tricking the new recruits into staking out the rooftop helipads for Santa Claus in the middle of the night just so you can swipe their holiday candy will result in you being assigned Toilet Detail for a month. **

(Besides, everybody knows Santa's too good a ninja to be caught by rookies.)

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**100. Throwing water/soda balloons in the hallways will result in you becoming Frankie's chore slaves for two months.**

(Mr. Herriman doesn't appreciate being wet and sticky.)

(Frankie was happy at least.)

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	7. Page: Halloween

Halloween Rules

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Active only on October 31

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**1. Tricks are for kids.**

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**2. Treats are for everyone.**

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**4. Nobody wants to smell your feet.**

(What is that stank?)

(Smells like something died and then got sprayed by a bunch of skunks. - #1)

(Did someone forget to change Bobos diaper? - Rex)

(Hardy har kid. - Bobo)

(Don't smell so bad teh me. - Scotsman.)

(That's because you already smell like sweaty socks rolled in manure. - June)

(My armor! It's actually rusting from the stench! - Tom)

(Can't! Breath! - Bubbles)

(Need! Air! - Ed)

(Billy! Put your shoes back on! - Mandy)

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**3. Never egg headquarters.**

(The security guys will get mad and egg you right back.)

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**4. Don't try to sneak up and scare Jack, June, Agent Six, Kiva, or Marceline.**

(If you want to live to see next morning.)

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**5. Don't go to Dexters lab for candy.**

(He'll make you work for it as a lab rat.)

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**6. Don't dress up as a fusion monster.**

(Just because you don't see our guns doesn't mean we don't have them.)

(Bloo.)

(How did those girls manage to hide their guns under those short skirts? - Rex)

(The world may never know. - Ben)

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**7. Be wary of the Ed's.**

(You're not fooling anybody Ed. Take off the mask. An Eddy, get out from the bushes.)

(How come weren't scared? - Ed)

(Yeah! How come? - Eddy)

(Please. The real Mandy is a billion times scarier than your pitiful mask. - Grim)

(True that.)

(Hey guys. - Mandy)

(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! - Everyone)

(What? - Mandy)

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**8. TP is for bathrooms.**

(How in the world did you manage to get enough TP to cover the whole city block?)

(Do you really need to ask? - Bloo)

(… If I don't find a roll in my room by tomorrow morning I'll nail your butts to the wall.)

(Ditto. - June.)

(Noted. - Ray Ray)

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**9. Don't dress your Nanos as little ghosts.**

(Apparently they can't see very well when covered.)

(oooOOoooo-*bonk* - Nano Bubbles)

('Nother one down. - #4)

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**10. Leave Courage alone.**

(What is that noise? - Rex)

(Sounds like a banshee that just sat in a chair full of tacks.)

(Sounds like someone found Courage. - Ben)

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**11. Don't give Nano's excessive amounts of candy.**

(They tend to dart around like hummingbirds on ten gallons of coffee.)

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**12. No trying to raise the dead.**

(Grim gets huffy.)

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**13. No trying to steal other peoples treats.**

(Like I said before, just because you can't see the gun doesn't mean I don't have one.)

(Okay. Point taken. So... can you point that peashooter somewhere else now? - Cpt. K'nuckles)

(No.)

(But I'll give you five second head start.)

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**16. Don't go to a villians house for treats.**

(You'll just get vegetables or a toothbrush.)

(Evil pricks.)

(Curse you villians! Cuuuuuuuurrssssse youuuuuuuu! - Ray Ray)

(How long does he usually go on like this?)

(Too long. - June.)

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**15. If you see Billy or Mac running at you, just drop the sugar and run.**

(Alright! Who gave Mac sugar?! - Blossom)

(Not it! - Bloo)

(Bloooooooo! - Frankie)

(I said not it! - Bloo)

(Save the nuget! Save the nuget! - Ray Ray.)

(My jawbreakers! - Eddy)

( *sigh* There goes my kitkat collection.)

(*nom nom nom* Sugaaaaaaarrrrrrr! 8D - Mac)

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Happy Halloween


	8. Page: 6

**101. Courage is a valued employee of the ECF Security Force. Not a puppy for you to adopt. **

(Bubbles.)

(But he's sooooo adorables! -Bubbles)

(We know Bubbles, but he already has an owner. You can't keep him. -Prof. Utonium)

(Awwwwwwwww :'( -Bubbles)

(… But I'm sure Muriel wouldn't mind if you visited him from time to time. -Prof. Utonium)

(Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D -Bubbles)

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**102. Mr. Johnny Bravo is to maintain a distance of one hundred (100) feet from all adult female ECF personal by order of court petition. **

(He'll never learn.)

xxx

**103. Princess Morbucks is not allowed to be within 150 feet of Dexter. By plea/order of Dexter. **

(I don't blame him.)

(Neither do the rest of us. -Ben)

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**104. Mandark is not allowed within ECF HQ without an armed security escort.**

(Surprisingly the escort is more for his protection than actual security.)

(Apparently some of the imaginary friends didn't appreciate him trying to take dna samples from them when they first arrived.)

(Especially the big ones.)

xxx

**105. Remember to wipe your feet before entering the Main Building. **

(Frankie will throw a fit if you don't.)

xxx

**106. Mandatory Post Mission Detoxification is mandatory. No hiding or running away.**

(I don't like it either but I'd rather not grow a second head if I can help it.)

xxx

**107. Toms communication console is not a toy. **

(Bloo, Billy, Dee Dee, Johnny.)

(Even if it does look like a DJ system.)

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**108. Demongo is not allowed anywhere on the base grounds without Jack as an escort.**

(Creepy candle stick only gets marginally less creepy when Jack is around.)

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**109. Him is not allowed to be alone with Mr. Green. By order of Dexter.**

(Why does this have to be a rule Dexter?)

(It just does Sergeant. Don't question it. -Dexter)

(*looks questioningly to Blossom*)

(You don't wanna know. Trust me. -Blossom)

(*shrug of acceptance*)

(When the smart people won't tell you it's best not to press.)

xxx

**110. I. R. Baboon is not to be allowed in the Armory. Ever. **

(Crazy monkey turned the whole second floor into swiss cheese.)

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**111. Just because Johnny Test has experience as a test subject, doesn't mean you can use him as one.**

(Dexter.)

(He's the one who came to me Sergeant. -Dexter)

(An his sisters are furious at him because of it.)

(Yeah, apparently they don't like the idea of anyone other than them using their brother as a test tube. -Dukey)

xxx

**112. Just because the Nano's can defy gravity doesn't mean they are able to carry you. **

(Some of the new recruits had to learn that one the hard way.)

xxx

**113. Indoor water fountains are for drinking, not bathing in. **

(Seriously Jake Spidermonkey knock that off, we drink out of those!)

xxx

**114. Billy is never allowed to be alone in the aircraft hangers.**

(Numbuh 2 is still a bit mad about his aircraft being blown up.)

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**115. Addition to rule # 114. Same goes for Ed, Bloo, and Fred Fredburger. **

(Numbuh 2 had to stay in the Infirmary for a month while the entire air field was rebuilt.)

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**116. Anybody who attempts to illegally access or hack into Computress ****will meet the business end of**** Dexters blaster cannon.**

(Gus couldn't stop shaking for hours.)

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**117. Restricted, Mature, Adult, and Horror genre movies are forever banned from all ECF bases. No Exceptions. **

(The Imaginary Friends had one heck of a week consoling all the kids after someone had the_ bright idea_ to play "A Nightmare on Elm Street" on movie night.)

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**118. NEVER. PUSH. THE BIG RED BUTTON! **

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**119. Any attempt to leave the Infirmary without being cleared first will result in you being strapped down and forced to listen to one of the science geeks explain quantum physics while you recover. **

(An if you're already a science geek then you'll be forced to listen to Billy talk.)

(Poor Dexter)

xxx

**120. So long as Mac and Billy are alive and active members of the ECF the sugar restrictions will not be lifted. **

(So quit asking to have them transferred somewhere else.)

(Or at least stop asking for Mac to be transferred.)

(He can be trusted and is not nearly as annoying as Billy.)

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	9. Page: 7

**121. No Gossip in your mission reports. **

(Ben, Rex, Buttercup, Bubbles, Numbuh 3, Eddy, the Scotsman, and June may be interested but the rest of us are not. - Mandy and Dexter)

xxx

**122. Tampering with the security cameras or any of the automated security defense systems will not be tolerated. Security integrity and the safety of personnel are absolute priorities. **

(Courage had a conniption when several cameras went missing.)

(An the Fusion Powerpuffs deciding to attack us in the current blind spot ended with the top half the main building wrecked, and the Kanker Sisters spending a month in a detention cell with Mr. Green.)

(Much to the happiness of the Ed's.)

xxx

**123. Just because there is an abundance of animals in HQ doesn't mean you can bring strays in. **

(Everybody knows Dexter has an issue with animals.)

(Who keeps bringing in all these cats?! - Dexter)

(*Looks at Bubbles*)

(9.9; - Bubbles)

xxx

**124. All manner, brand, and type of Fireworks are forever banned from Base grounds. No exceptions. **

(Yes Bloo, even homemade ones.)

xxx

**125. All unscheduled or unannounced excursions must be cleared by a guide, commander, or officer first. **

(They really get mad at you when they call you up for an urgent mission only to find out your halfway around the world doing your own thing.)

(Who goes to the other side of the continent just to get a single milkshake at an old hotdog stand!? - Dexter)

(This guy :D)

*Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuurp*

(Yum.)

(LOL - Ben)

xxx

**126. Field sports indoors is strictly forbidden. Use the fields outside. **

(I don't care if it's raining. Get creative. - Mandy)

xxx

**127. Do not repeatedly call Tom, Octus, Larry, the Dexbots, or the Mandroids "Mr. Roboto". **

(They will not be amused and the next time you use a warp pad you might just end up stranded in the middle of Nowhere.)

(Or in low orbit.)

(Or in Mandarks bathroom.)

(Larry can be really evil sometimes.)

xxx

**128. ****Never sing Cruella Devil when a villianess walks by.**

(They might try to skin you alive.)

xxx

**129. ****Never fill the main lobby with bouncy balls.**

(The kids might love it but the adults won't.)

(Bouncy maniaaaaaa! - Madame Foster)

(Well, most of the adults.)

xxx

**130. All Bubblegum, Soul, and New Age music is banned from being played on the Com system. **

(Tom can't take it anymore and neither can the rest of us.)

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**132. You may have hoverboards, rocket scooters, and freaky flying Brains as modes of transport but you are still expected to obey basic traffic safety laws when using them. **

(Who knew you could total a truck with a hover board. *Shrug* - Ben)

xxx

**133. Silly String is not allowed in the base. **

(Frankie doesn't care if its an effective weapon in the fight against tyranny, it still makes a mess of the hallways.)

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**134. Fusion-Fu is not a real combat style. Sensei Jack is not a master of it. An he does not teach it. **

(Who came up with that anyway?)

(I think it was Numbuh 4. - #2)

(Yeah that sounds about right.)

xxx

**135. Attempting to Install video games onto Computress is strictly forbidden. **

(Only Dexter has that privilege.)

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**136. The distribution of Viral Videos and Spam over the Com System is neither allowed or encouraged. **

(Poor Computress' entire system needed a defrag after the Nyan Cat incident.)

(Mandy and Dexter were not happy campers.)

(An neither were the rest of us.)

( ~=[,,_,,]:3 - Billy)

(Billy I swear to heaven if you don't turn that off I'll shove that laptop up your nose!)

xxx

**137. The Clyde Bots are not dolls or Nanos, and are not collectibles. Give them back to Tom. **

(We don't care how cute they are, Tom needs them Dee Dee.)

xxx

**138. Coop's belly is not a jump pad. Please stop bouncing on him when he's sleeping. **

(Why he doesn't wake up when the recruits do this is a mystery to me.)

xxx

**139. V.V. Argost is an ally and not to be attacked without a proper reason. **

(No matter how creepy he is or what the Saturdays tell you.)

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**140. Physically tossing soldiers into battle is not an accepted means of troop deployment. **

(Especially since the majority of us can't fly.)

(Save it for the beach trips Buttercup.)

(Aw c'mon, thats the bestest way to go into battle! - #4)

(Say's the guy with two broken legs. - #5)

(Its just a flesh wound! - #4)

xxx


End file.
